The Chiefs Are So Bad, Fans Are Beating The Crap Out Of Each Other

I don’t know, or really care how these things start. All I know is arrest everyone who is involved in these. Send them to Gitmo.

Shoutout to the guys wearing what are clearly corporate branded promotional hats they got at a tailgate. I hope that they don’t actually work for that company. If so, you are going to have an interesting Monday. At the very least, you will not be going back to your buddy’s corporate sponsored tailgate anytime soon. You may have one less buddy now. Those $4 hats come at a cost, and it ain’t that company’s reputation of over 40 years of service to the Kansas City metro.

*Outlook meeting notification ping*
10 a.m. MEETING REQUEST – Conduct review with management

Pee pants immediately.

Also, the guys wearing hats and sunglasses that were purchased at a gas station. Come on. You dropped two hunge on the Mahomes authentic and the Honey Badger camo jerseys. Maybe that was the smart move, though. You can’t go brawling in the endzone seats wearing Maui Jims. The $20 shades from Break Time are indestructible.

The woman yelling “let’s go” in the background either had a really poor choice of words to try and get her third boyfriend of the year out of the stadium and remain on probation, OR she was egging on her third boyfriend of the year and rolling the dice on his probation.


A huge upset in this fight, though, as the man with the low ground ended up winning. Stunning. Turns out all you need to win a stadium brawl is a buddy to come in with a well placed sucker punch to an old man’s jaw and then you’ll have the opening you need to mercilessly mangle his face for his grandchildren to see on the internet. Great job.

Chiefs fans are clearly in a bad place. I defended Jackson Mahomes last week. A real low. I was like a proud mother trying to keep her family together at all costs during conflict. Family first.

I’ll put my hand up and say I screwed that one up. I was desperate to keep the ship afloat in the storm.

Regardless, I encourage Chiefs fans to remain calm in this time of crisis and highly recommend that you do not resort to beating the everloving shit out of old men at the stadium no matter how frustrated you get.

Two disastrous losses in a row won’t end a season. The Chiefs have been humbled, and like Patrick said, “It’s all about how you respond.”

1-0 mentality from here on out. They will not divide us. We’re on to Philadelphia.