Drunk on Drink: Eli Dominates SEC Media Days

That’s my coach. I love this nerdy man. Underrated: Eliah Drinkwitz’s rapier wit. Drink wasn’t holding back at SEC Media Days in B’ham Thursday.

He had some gems.

On Texas’s dirty, unwashed ass wanting to join the SEC:

Turning an answer about OU and flipping it to a ricochet shot on Arkansas being sad and pathetic and unable to beat Mizzou:

On whether or not ‘horns down’ will be a penalty in the SEC because Texas thinks they’re omnipresent or something:

On OU and Texas being sad, lost little puppies who lost their way:

Saying the thing every single person in this country needs to hear and heed as gospel:

On Dan Mullen being an angry troll whose team can’t play in anything under 70 degrees:

And perhaps the most money quote that makes me want to run through a wall:

“Don’t sing it. Bring it.” -Eliah Drinkwitz, 2021

This man is a star and I am asking the University of Missouri-Columbia’s board of curators to acquire a Brinks truck and back it up to this man’s house the minute anyone else comes calling for him.

9-3. Let’s go.