Drunk on Drink: Eli Dominates SEC Media Days

That’s my coach. I love this nerdy man. Underrated: Eliah Drinkwitz’s rapier wit. Drink wasn’t holding back at SEC Media Days in B’ham Thursday.

He had some gems.

On Texas’s dirty, unwashed ass wanting to join the SEC:

Drinkwitz on OU/Texas to the SEC: "I've been trying to tell people, everyone wants to play in the SEC, man."
Then a more serious tone: "That's all speculative. … We'll worry about converting third downs and scoring touchdowns. We ain't playing them this year."
— Dave Matter (@Dave_Matter) July 22, 2021

Turning an answer about OU and flipping it to a ricochet shot on Arkansas being sad and pathetic and unable to beat Mizzou:

Drinkwitz asked if Oklahoma can become Mizzou's new rival: "I kinda like the rivalry we have with Arkansas. I can't remember the last time they beat us. Crud, I think we'll keep that one right now."
— Dave Matter (@Dave_Matter) July 22, 2021

On whether or not ‘horns down’ will be a penalty in the SEC because Texas thinks they’re omnipresent or something:

Missouri coach Eliah Drinkwitz: “(The big question) from yesterday is 'Horns down' gonna be a 15-yard penalty in the SEC? I asked Commissioner Sankey and he said ‘no comment."
— Brett McMurphy (@Brett_McMurphy) July 22, 2021

On OU and Texas being sad, lost little puppies who lost their way:

Drinkwitz on Texas and Oklahoma possibly joining the SEC — “We have the best conference in college football. Maybe we were the trendsetters leaving the Big 12.”
— Eric Blum (@ByEricBlum) July 22, 2021

Saying the thing every single person in this country needs to hear and heed as gospel:

"Twitter's not real, just so we're on the same page," says Eliah Drinkwitz, as I tweet
— Michael Katz (@MichaelLKatz) July 22, 2021

On Dan Mullen being an angry troll whose team can’t play in anything under 70 degrees:

Drinkwitz on Florida’s trip to #Mizzou: “I’m praying for snow. Dan (Mullen) is going to complain about everything anyway.”

And then he thanks Shane Beamer for informing the world South Carolina is going to throw to his tight ends a bunch this season. Said Tigers will be ready.
— Ben Frederickson (@Ben_Fred) July 22, 2021

And perhaps the most money quote that makes me want to run through a wall:

Eli Drinkwitz shares his thoughts on expansion:

"Whatever they do, we are ready. That's the challenge at Missouri. That's why you come to Mizzou, it's not going to be easy, it's going to be hard and that's why we saddled up… If that's what they want, don't sing it, bring it."
— SEC Mike (@MichaelWBratton) July 22, 2021

“Don’t sing it. Bring it.” -Eliah Drinkwitz, 2021

This man is a star and I am asking the University of Missouri-Columbia’s board of curators to acquire a Brinks truck and back it up to this man’s house the minute anyone else comes calling for him.

9-3. Let’s go.