I Spent 10 Minutes Watching This Instagram Post Now You Must Too

I don’t get people that go to bed without spending an hour staring at their phone first. I just don’t.

My bedtime routine goes as follows:

  1. Get annoyed that my wife texts me “bedtime” from upstairs at 8:45
  2. Get more annoyed when my wife is asleep at 8:58 and I have to brush my teeth in the dark
  3. Stub my toe and whisper-yell obscenities at 9:02
  4. Lie in bed from 9:10 until 10:39 scrolling Instagram and Twitter

It’s Instagram where my damage is done. Twitter is a cesspool of self-important journalists and people that try and one-up your jokes only to ruin the funny. But Instagram, oh Instagram knows me.

I have my Instagram algorithm finely tuned between female fitness models, Joe Rogan clips banned by YouTube, lost history of the ancient world clips, and sports training videos. The four horsemen of self-induced insomnia.

Last night I was mesmerized by this series of videos posted by Collin Lisa, a former UAB receiver and current coach for what I’m assuming is King’s Ridge Christian School in Georgia, although a quick DuckDuckGo search couldn’t verify specifics and it’s 10:33 at the time of writing and based upon the timeline above I only have six minutes left.

A couple things jumped out at me, most notably I’d never seen cut work reimagined this way.

Enforcing smoother transitions on edges makes sense as opposed to bagging on an athlete to make his sticks and breaks quicker when you’re literally asking him to come to a stop first. One of the most important parts of training athletes – for me anyway, in my past life – was to not keep banging my head against a wall asking an athlete to do something he couldn’t, rather to find the things he could that got the same result.

Obviously I could reach out to Coach Lisa and get the full story behind way his guys do these drills, but this is the Internet and no one asks questions here.

The other thing that jumped out at me was my goodness gracious, these are high school dudes? This is how high school dudes move now? This is how high school dudes look now? All the muscles and the man shoulders and the muscles?

Dudes I went to high school with didn’t look like this. Dudes I went to college with didn’t look like this. Body shaming is real and I don’t like it.