He slipped!

Egad, Brain, the fielder slipped on a wet field and botched a line drive hit right at him. BLAME THE PTICHER!

There is no way on God’s green Earth this is a hit. Nope. No sir. Not possible.

Someday when I run for office my official campaign platform will be ridding this forsaken society of the worst fascists among us: official scorers.

Pitchers of the planet unite. No longer will our ERAs be bloated at the whims of obviously corrupt arbiters of errors. No longer will the strong arm of the Position Players Union silence us, forcing us to accept their edicts via their draconian overlords. The time is now to fight back.

Terrible fielders be warned: we’re coming for you.