Spring Training Replacement Suppository: George Brett Shits His Pants

A legendary story from a legendary ballplayer.

Cry laughing every time. Every goddamn time.

“Went out and had a meal, just a great fuckin’ meal.”

You can get a base hit 3,000 times in the big leagues, but you shit your pants twice a year, you are a true man of the people. Slopping up your britches annually to semi-annually is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, even if you were the last American Leaguer to bat .390+.

“Straight fuckin’ water.”

We all fly too close to the sun sometimes. I myself made the foolish decision Wednesday morning to drink a quad shot iced espresso, go to the grocery store and then walk home. Three blocks away, we had a legitimate emergency. Lucky to have made it home. Helluva day to choose to wear shorts for the first time in 2022. This is March.

“I’m good for that about twice a year.”

In closing, fuck Rob Manfred.